May Angels Lead You In
by COMMA OF THOUGHT
Summary: This is for MalfoysBitch22's challange. If you hav'nt read "Silly Little Girl" go read that then come back and read this. Awww.. the tale of Kider and Ryan plus the Cullens Read it.. you know you want to. Charactors belong to MalfoysBitch22 and Meyer!:
1. Giveing Up

I sat there watching the light reflect the sunset off the pool, the tiny fragments of rainbow swirling on the water service, mirroring the sky

**Alright Y'all! This is MalfoysBitch22's challenge on her story "Silly Little Girl". I suggest you read that before you read this. Basically it's been a year since kider was supposed to return and he hasn't come. Now read! And tell me if I should continue! I hope I win!**

**I suggest you listen to I Miss You by Blink 182**

**Ryan's pov, age 17**

I sat there watching the light reflect the sunset off the pool; the tiny fragments of rainbow swirling on the water service, mirroring the sky. It was as if you could jump right into the setting sun, and swim with the pink, orange, and _red _clouds.

I almost remember running around the pool looking for _him_, before I slipped and busted my head. I remember bits and pieces of the water not being stained by the sun but by my blood. I remember the angry angle….

No. No Ryan, don't let your self think about it. He was not even real. He was just another babysitter. All that other stuff… You made it all up! No one can take you flying; people don't have naturally red eyes. It was just one big illusion that you created inside your child mind. You weren't even a normal child, you were a grieving one. A grieving child who didn't know she was grieving because she thought that dad was going to come back after a visit with the angles. That silly little girl did not yet realize that angles indeed did not exist.

But death did. And death is what happened to my mother. My mother that gave me rules and boundaries that made me feel annoyingly safe, unlike Aunt Vicky. I love her but dose she really need to act my age? Leaving me to take care of her son when I have my own confusing life to live.

I let an exasperating sigh escape my chest. I was wearing my own self out just thinking. I should just stop thinking. I need to let go.

That thought seemed to push me from the lawn chair. As my blood rushed to my legs, the air whipped my blonde hair. The breeze seemed to carry a sad hit of realization of what I had to do, and I grasped my ring necklace to steady myself.

_That damn ring!_

I let go of it immediately. I had to stop, this had to be over.

I walked briskly into the blue house with white shutters. My finger some how managed to brush a thorn on the rose bush that climbed up the side of the door.

"Shit" I muttered, sticking my finger in my mouth to stop the blood flow.

I opened the door aggressively. Now I was not only aggravated at myself, but at the rose bush. Ugh…

The house had that familiar smell of fabreez that my aunt obsessively sprayed like it was the best smell in the world. I knew a much better smell….

Stop Ryan.

I made my way through the half way painted maze of hallways that my aunt was trying to 'spice up'.

Once I reached the bottom step of the stairs I turned at the sound of the TV and saw Tyler spread out across the living room floor on his pallet, with his blonde hair sticking up in every curly direction. He was contently playing video games.

"Tyler" I said. Of course he didn't respond; he was totally dead to the world if you put him in front of any form of television, especially video games. "What do you want for dinner?!" I shouted, trying to get his attention.

This was getting annoying and that sucked for him because I was already annoyed with myself and a rose bush.

I picked up one of his stupid dart guns off the hall table and shot him with it.

"Ow! What the hell was that for!" he yelped, finally turning and pausing his race care game.

"Watch your language; what do you want to eat?" I replied

"You cuss all the time! And hell isn't even a bad word! It's in the bible!" He defended, totally ignoring my question.

"Alright I will just order pizza." I said nonchalantly, walking toward the kitchen. I find that Tyler gets more frustrated with you if you don't respond to his arguments.

He grunted and turned back to his stupid brain fryer. His hormones were deafeningly starting to kick in.

I grabbed the phone off the charger and dialed the number, leaning against the stove.

"This is Dominoes Pizza! How may I help you?" said a male voice that sounded way to chipper, as if he had just been goofing off with his buddies.

"Ummm… Yeah" I said, picking up the coupon that was on the counter. "I'll have the 2 medium pizzas with any toping for 5 dollars." I said, reading the deal. "I need one supreme, one cheese. Oh! And add in those breaded things with the chocolate icing!" how could I pass that up.

"Alright your total comes to 7.35. Would you like it delivered or picked up?"

"Delivered please."

"Can I get your address?"

"1712 Brookhill"

Now this is the point in the conversation where you are supposed to hear an "alright it will be about an hour!" or maybe even a "don't forget to tip!" but I wasn't that lucky.

"1712 Brookhill? Is this Ryan Hastings?" The male voice asked eagerly. Its times like this I wish I was less social. Its times like this I wish I never had a gig. But unfortunately for me I am naturally polite

"Yup" I sighed "That's me" I said lamely

"Dude! You are so freaking hot! I got drunk at one of your parties! It was the best one ever!" I held the phone away form my ear "You remember me right? Morgan? The one who got his nipple ring ripped out in your pool?!" He said this as if it where a good thing. I wanted to hang up, but he had probably not put my order up yet.

_Just smile and wave, just smile and wave…._

"Oh yeah, the nipple guy!" I said in mock familiarity. Even if I had met him I didn't remember; I was probably drunk as well.

"Yeah that's me! The nipple guy! Hey Garry, you will never guess who I'm on the phone with!" I groaned while he was occupied with his friend.

"Hey! Garry says you are hot, and have wicked skills on the guitar! He says he wants to know if you can show him some of your _other_ skills." Okay this is were I draw the line.

"Look, when am I going to get the pizza?" I said curtly. He was unfazed by my tone.

"In about an hour, I just put the order up. So listen I was thinking maybe you and I could-" that's where I hung up.

I could not stand overly friendly boys. Its not like I was a prude or anything, I just had high standards. Especially after I already met….

Stop Ryan.

I sighed in frustration, resting my head on the counter. I had become even more angered and annoyed and now my blood seemed to boil. The cold granite of the counter top helped.

_Cold… Granite… Him…_

Stop Ryan.

This was going way too far. It was time to do this.

I grabbed the money out of Aunt Vicky's hand bag and walked back into the living room.

"Give this to the pizza man when he comes and no matter what don't answer any questions about me or let him in. I don't live here, and you don't know me." I ordered

He grunted.

"Tyler!" I said sternly. He better listen and obey.

"Fine! Jesus!" he screamed, exasperated.

"No my name is not Jesus it is Ryan." I shot back, stomping up the stairs before he could respond.

I slammed the door to my only sanctuary. I still had in the old pink shag carpet. I never found the heart to remove it. There was no longer a little bed, or a dwarf table, or even the white rocking horse. I had painted the walls dark blue after my mom died. I know I sound evil, but I didn't want a reminder that she was ever even their. And her art work all around my room didn't help.

The window was open as usual. I made my way to it, looking out into the now dark sky.

Did I really want to let go of this? The last part of my life? The last shreds of comfort that he would one day come? He would one day make me forget everything. He was supposed to be back last year. And here I sat 17, and he had yet to return.

Yes this was truly false hope. He was visiting with his own kind; the angels. He was dead. And with that I closed the window.

I gripped the ring around my neck as a tear slid down my cheek.

_That damn ring! _

Acting on impulse, I ripped the ring from my neck. I looked down at what I had done with wide eyes. I felt guilt for a second, but I was now angerier.

Why had he come if he was just going to leave? So that I would no how pain felt when I grew older?

I made my way to my dresser rustling around the drawers. I looked up momentarily and caught sight of my reflection in the mirror. My hair was matted and my eyes were cleared with liquid that made my mascara run down my face. I was so messed up.

I gritted my teeth and rustled more until I found what I was looking for; the journals.

They were full of false notes of hope. They needed to be gone.

I grabbed the large jewelry box sitting on the dresser and poured out the contents. I tossed in the ring and the journals. I paced over to my computer desk. Pictures of him that I had won awards for hung all around. It was like an unhealthy shrine for a cult. I had built life around something that wasn't real.

I plucked one down. It was him looking up at me as I was on his shoulders. It was that day….

_"So is I love you a complement?"_

Stop Ryan.

I shook my head and the memories it held. I snatched down all the pictures and stuffed them in the box. I did not trust myself to look. And I sure as hell did not look at the laminated picture of him and myself.

Last but not least I popped the eject button on my laptop. The Beatles CD appeared. I grabbed and then grabbed its case from the shelf on my desk. I enclosed the CD and threw that in the box as well.

I walked very slowly back to my dresser. I guess I was trying to find a reason to drop the box and put everything back. I wanted to pretend I never realized I was lying to myself. I wanted to keep dreaming with my window wide open.

That was it. I grabbed the key and locked the box. I stared at the key for a long moment. Alright, here goes nothing. I walked back to the window opening it one last time.

I threw the key and my life out the window and shut it.

I didn't even cry I just set the box down and collapsed on my bed.

Now he was Just a voice in my head.

But if he were just a false memory or a voice in my head; why was I positive that I was going to dream of him as if he were real?


	2. The Invetation

I was trying to hold my ice cream and lock up the Maggiemoos at the same time

**Alrighty Y'all. I have the second version of my chapter for the challenge. And I think the song for the chapter shall be….. Beautiful Disaster by John Mclaghin..**

**Thanks to MalfoysBitch22 and Meyer!**

I was trying to hold my ice cream and lock up the Maggiemoo's at the same time. Once I had managed to do it with out dropping anything, I removed my hat and apron. I stuck them in my bag and punched my time slot card on the scanner outside the door.

Yes that's right; I had a job at Maggiemoo's Ice Cream Parlor. I was surprised I hadn't become obese from all the ice cream I eat. Always the same thing too; Double Chocolate with chocolate chips, chocolate syrup and a chocolate covered cherry.

My flipflops slapped the hot pavement as the sun fried my hair. I touched the top of my ponytail; it felt like the window of a car after it had been in a hot parking lot all day. I moved my hand down to wipe away the drops of sweat where my hairline met my forehead.

I truly hated walking everywhere like this, witch was why I was working in the first place. I needed a car badly. Normally I would just catch a ride with my friends who would gladly drag me around town just for the status.

That had all changed really. I guess I started realizing who my real friends were and I have been isolating myself more then usual all summer. Half of my band was on vacation. I never checked my myspace and I kept my calls and texts at a minimum. And I am glad to say that there has been no partying since February which means that I was sober.

I wasn't some druggy or anything; I just tended to get caught up in the moment sometimes. Though I haven't been talking to people, I am a people person. So yeah I would have a drink or take a drag…. Maybe even pop a few pills. Sure it got you high and made you forget, but it was really all for the people.

And because that's exactly what I was; a people person. I lived to please the people. I lived around other people, and I guess that was a big mistake. I never focused on the person that is me. And now I don't even think I am a good one.

So now I am turning the corner on Skyline wishing I had never blew my saved money on my so called friends. Of course I did have millions of dollars left behind by my parents but I was not allowed access to it until I was 18. I was set for collage because that was the one account my Aunt could not fondle money out of. But she was slowly burning it bit by bit, not making her own money which was a very bad thing. And by the time I turned 18 I would have plenty of money to get into collage, but no apartment, food, or car.

Collage sounded really good right now; to move away and start anew, to change. But the truth was I could never really do that. I may be able to escape people or the shackles of a town, but I could never escape myself and my poisonous thoughts.

"No Ryan you're _my angel._ You saved _me_. From _my self_." He had said.

That was such a stupid statement. You could not escape yourself, even with another person's help.

Of course I was supposed to have a free car a long time ago; just like he had promised. Then again he had promised a lot of things….

Stop Ryan.

I spread up my pace wanting to get home and in the air conditioning. My new shirt was clinging to my skin and I was even beginning to smell a little. I hated bodily fluids.

I tried to listen to the birds chirping as I walked down the street, but I couldn't zero in on it over the loud hum of a jeep.

I heard three honks and a whistle. Could I not go one day without getting hit on?

The car was slowing down next to me and I quickened my pace once again. My hips were starting to hurt; I was power walking so hard.

I was beginning to really panic when-

"Where to sweet THANG!" said an oddly feminine yet male voice? A smile spread across my face. He was a _true_ friend. He never left me.

"Since when do you own a taxi service Timmy?" I laughed.

"Since beautiful ladies such as yourself are sweating like a pig on a tiring walk home." He said leaning over the seat to the open window.

I stopped and faced the jeep.

"I don't know if I have the money for the ride." I said sarcastically, going along with the act.

"Well for a show stopper like you, I will make an exception. Free of charge!" He yelled.

I laughed at his enthusiasm while gratefully opening the car door, letting the air hit me. It was such a relief to be inside of the cool car. I sighed in contentment.

"Haven't seen you around much lately." He approached.

I turned to him. Only then did I see what he was wearing. Tommy had a colorful wardrobe but that never dimmed the effect it had on you when you saw what he was dressed in.

He wore a snug hot pink shirt that had a picture of a cartoon porcupine on the front. Around the porcupine it said "Can't touch this". I had to bight back a laugh.

"Yeah, I've been busy with my applications and stuff. How are you and Jeff doing?" I changed the subject quickly so that it was not on me. Of course he took bate; he was madly in love with that boy. Well, whatever floats your boat?

The rest of the car ride passed in a blur. We caught up and I promised to get together with him, I can't believe I ever went a day with out talking to him. Then again I had some sort of experience with not talking to loved ones.

Right now I was changing into my bathing suit, to go for a swim. The heat had simmered down a little. I finished tying my red bikini and grabbed my ipod off the bedside table. While I was on the bed I noticed Joey tangled in my big unmade bed. I grabbed him as well.

I had never told anybody Joey's full name. Should I allow myself to think it?

Joey Kider Hastings.

No, I definitely should not have let myself think it. I threw the stuffed bear back down on the bed, not wanting to take it anymore.

I made my way down the stairs. The house was clearly being cleaned; all the lights where on plus scented candles. You could hear the rumble of the dish washer and the hum of a vacuum. Today was the day that the cleaning lady came. Of course we didn't need it, but my Aunt Vicky felt the need to waste more of my parent's money on something that we could do ourselves.

I rolled my eyes and went outside. I took in a deep breath of the fresh air with the slight tent of chlorine. I walked over the shaded wooden deck porch and on to the pavement which was so hot that I hopped my way to the lawn chair.

The sun was no longer burning but tanning and it felt really good.

I scrolled through my playlists. I avoided all the songs that I knew would hurt. I would have to delete some of his playlists and maybe rename my Beatles playlist.

Finally I found something that would not make me cry. I had not cried once since that night and I didn't intend to.

The song was not my taste and the lyrics were not important to me so I clicked play on Find A New Way by Young Love.

My foot began tapping and I was soon humming along. I was maybe even a little bit relaxed. Then I felt it.

The freezing cold water squirted across my stomach making me jump. My eyes shot open to meat the blue amused ones of Tyler. He had a huge water gun in his hands and was running to hide on the side of the house. I chased after him as he shot at me. I know I was probably over reacting (I was in my bathing suit after all) but still, I was finally relaxing and he had to go and ruin it.

As I rounded the corner of the house I heard another cackling laugh to my right. Tyler's partner in crime, Chris, stood there with a video camera.

"Ahhhh! You little shits!" I screamed "turn that off!" Chris seamed to catch the threat in my voice and rushed to turn it off. Then again he had some sort of weird 12 year old infatuation with me: Which was probably why he was drooling.

"What seems to be the problem cuz? We are just doing a documentary on what a real bitch looks like when she is about to pounce." He ran back to the camera and grabbed it out of Chris' hands. H turned it back on and angled it towards his face. He began to speak in an Australian accent. "Notice the bitch's forehead dose that ugly wrinkle thing and her face grows red once she is disturbed." He said.

I stomped toward him and took him by the ear "Crikey! She's got my ear!" he didn't know when to quit.

I grabbed the camera and tuned it off, pulling harder on his ear.

He let out a yelp and went to hold his ear. I took my chance to walk over to the water gun that was lying by the trash can. I picked it up and smashed it on the side of the house.

"Hey!" he screamed

"You do not need to play with these stupid baby toys!" I yelled.

"What should I play with then?" He must have thought that was a smart comeback.

I guess I forgot who I was talking to when I yelled "How about a yourself! If you are a normal boy which your not!" he was about to say something but I wouldn't let him "Get a date!" okay so that was a little harsh. With that I stormed away leaving to stunned boys behind me.

I gathered my things and went back inside, slamming the back door. Maybe I was a little too harsh. He did seem to have a problem talking to girls.

"Ryan! Is that you?!" Aunt Vicky called.

"Yeah, it's me!" I answered.

"Come hear a sec!"

I internally groaned. Normally a one on one conversation with Aunt Vicky ended weirdly.

"Yeah?" I said coming into view. She looked up at me over her channel sunglasses that I guess she felt the need to wear indoors.

"Sit down sweetie." She cooed, motioning for me to sit at one of the bar stools.

This couldn't be good.

"You got something in the mail today-"

"Is it from the university?!" I interrupted.

"No" she didn't see my face fall "It's about… your mother."

I instantly tensed "My mother?"

"It's September 1st and you are being asked to speak at Forks High School on September 13th about your experience. But you don't have to do anything if you don't want to. They were just looking for other teens in high school…."

I tried to drown her out as she babbled on. Did I want to share my story? Maybe this was something I could do to prove to myself that I am good for something. Maybe I could get away for awhile to help people remember.

"I'll Do It." I decided.

"And it's not like- wait what?" now the motor bout stops.

"I'll Do It."

**Review!**


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